


Say a word and I'll be yours

by laNill



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Hand Jobs, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Angst, Overstimulation, Pining Sakusa Kiyoomi, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Smut, office sex kind of, sakusa is totally in love, thigh whorship??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:07:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laNill/pseuds/laNill
Summary: «Don't look at me like that.»«Like what?» Sakusa asked, lifting up his eyes to him. Callused fingers adored his face, fearing he had made or had said something that might have bothered him. Veneration in every gesture, even the most indecent.Akaashi blushed in a dull crimson.«As if... you wanted to devour me.»
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	Say a word and I'll be yours

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally a self-indulgent smut i wrote for one of my favorite rarepair, bc they're so cute e totally awkward to each other. 
> 
> Before you start I'm gonna do a little disclaimer. I try my best to stay as close to their characterization in canon, but if u guys think smth is off pls don't hesitate to tell me in the comments! :D  
> That said, thank you and enjoy.

Akaashi deserved the best.

Sakusa had thought that a lot lately. He was intelligent, composed, strategically smart and intuitive, well-mannered and polite; his smile was mild, his words neither too loud, nor too feeble to suggesting submission. His aegean-grey eyes mesmerizing; beautiful - extremely beautiful. 

He was impossible to miss, even among the crowd after a match, or every time he came in his professional attire inside the Black Jackals Head Club.

He was a beauty, and more of it. He was - when he appeared as an early morning vision during breakfast talking and taking notes with the staff; he was - when he stopped at the entrance to the gym accepting the enthusiastic screams that Bokuto threw at him with his most polite and delightful smile; he was - when he walked into the lobby of the club headquarters drenched in an unusual and uncalculated summer storm, soft curls dumped on his forehead, cheeks flushed red for a unexpected rush, his long, black lashes wet. 

Sakusa was fine just by looking at him, observing all that graceful and discreet beauty from a distance; he observed him with quick glances, without invading, without making a noise, without noticing and being noticed.

But not once had Sakusa left that profile untouched by his gaze.

Something in Akaashi’s beauty caught the eye and held it. He was like a magnet, impossible not to stare at him and being caught by his eyes. 

There was something sensual and holy about Akaashi, something that led Sakusa to wonder how it would be to touch his skin, so impalpable and elastic; what it would be to taste him, his skin, his breath, his whole. 

Sakusa had never felt that kind of hunger.

It was disconcerting. But he would have given everything, even only to touch his hands, outside of his own reason.

*

Akaashi had a different haircut that day. His short fringe barely partened on the forehead, a pair of slim glasses on his nose - he could still see his eyes, Sakusa thought behind the corner of the gym weights. That navy blue winter jacket was too big for his frame, and his face was partially covered by the thick gray scarf. But he was still beautiful when he smiled gentle and polite towards Hinata (a smile that softened as he intercepted Bokuto), making a little bow to the others - including himself. 

He had arrived suddenly during a workout. Apparently he had to do some sports research for the company he worked - _Shonen Vai_ or something.

Sakusa imagined what he had come for - _for whom_ \- but swallowed that fact as a minor detail.

Akaashi really deserved better.

«What job.»

«Mh?»

Hinata looked at him, surprised under the barbell just put back in place.

«Fukurodani’s ex-setter. What is his job.»

«Oh, Akaashi-san? I’m not sure, something about editing, manuscripts and publishing stuff.. kind of. Bokuto should know.» Hinata scratches his head with a palpable air of nervous energy. Strangely, Sakusa eyes’ was frightening.

Sakusa's forehead wrinkled, his dark brows furrowed.

«No, that's okay.»

This didn't answer his question much, but it was a start.

He didn't know what he wanted to do with that kind of information, but he could use it. Anything, to get closer to his world.

«Ah, Sakusa-kun? Do you have a minute?» At the call, Sakusa turned. 

He had left the gym - since the second squad joined them abruptly, it was getting a chaotic mess in there. It was so annoying and full of germs. 

At the end of the corridor, there was the sporting club’s manager. Beside him, Akaashi stood elegantly and polite, a small notebook between his hands.

He’s so small, Sakusa thought absently.

Sakusa’s eyes, a piercing black, fixed flatly on the man, barely touching the figure at his side. If he looked at him too much, he would never want to take his eyes off him again. Despite this, he couldn't help but notice how good he smelled, like a warm summer night.

His manager continued, «I know you're busy, but there's one of the Shounen Vai editors here. He needs to ask some team-related questions. If you have time.»

«I have practice.» Sakusa said lowly, matter-of-factly.

His sense of duty came before his instincts and desires, even though he distinctly perceived every single particle of his body shouting and vibrating to say otherwise.

Akaashi, in a delightfully adorable way, tilted his head. His eyes flicked towards Sakusa's grim expression.

«Ah, I know. I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. It'll only take a few minutes. I would have asked for Bokuto-san, but i suppose th-»

«He’s busy too.» Sakusa said, his face hard, the words coming out in a furious rush. He saw Akaashi flinch a little, and he hated himself for that. 

A distant expression came across the young man's face - distant, melancholic, a detachment he didn’t like to see. Sakusa straightened his shoulders, under the facemask his lips twitched. Akaashi looked sad, almost bittersweet. He didn't like seeing him that way.

«But I can be off for a while, if you need.» He concluded.

Akaashi smiled gently - disarmingly - at him. Comfort and gratitude lingered on his lips, softening his eyes.

_Shit._

«Very well! Ah- I haven’t introduced you; He’s Sakusa Kiyoomi. And, Sakusa, he is-»

«Akaashi Keiji. I know him.»

The young man's eyelids flickered upwards, and then lowered them to his irises, bowing his head. Still a shadow of his smile lingered on his lips, but there was something else to bend them; something warm.

He was making everything more difficult.

«Nice to see you again, Sakusa-san.»

«Sakusa is fine.» He had pronounced Sakusa’s name with a mild, almost reserved, shrewdness. He liked to hear, to see his lips around the letters of his name - he wanted to hear him again, calling his name like a prayer, soft with longing; begging him with promises between his parted, plump-rosy lips. The idea had him shiver, if only a little bit. «It’s nice to meet you too.»

«You can go to the visitor's office on the first floor.» The manager advised him, before leaving.

In silence, they headed toward the stairs. Akaashi, Sakusa thoughts that for the third time in a row today and with no particular motive, was so small near him. He liked details that he wouldn't have cared about before.

They walked without speaking. Sakusa, a couple of steps ahead, felt Akaashi's nearby presence like an electromagnet, a pulsating source of static energy that made him throbbing, adrenalinic. 

«I’m sorry for bothering you.» Akaashi said. His manner was calm, smooth as a glassy lake.

«You did not. I wanted to take a break anyway, there were already too many people in there - the second team. I don't appreciate places too crowded.»

That, Akaashi could relate to.

«I see.»

They walked to the office in a silence. Sakusa longed for his presence even without hearing him speak.

The room was small, overlooking the back garden where part of the training was taking place. They sat on opposite sides of the table. When Akaashi took off his jacket and scarf, Sakusa peered at him over the facemask with a swelling in his chest that he forced to silence. He was extremely handsome, the slim and toned figure under the turtleneck shirt tucked hastily into high-waisted jeans, long, strong legs from who had practiced sports for years covered by loose jeans that did not do him justice.

«I’ll be quick, I promise.»

«You have all my time.» Sakusa said, flatly. He took out the bottle of disinfectant, and sanitized his hands that had opened the door handle and then closed it again.

Akaashi's lips curled into a half smile. He put the jacket down on a nearby armchair, bending over to take a stack of papers out of his backpack.

«I don't want to keep you busy too much, others will wonder where you are.»

«Do not care.» He shrugged

Akaashi tilted his head. _Again_ , he was doing it again. Sakusa clutched his hands inside the pockets of his sweatshirt; the relaxed pose was only a cover for the sudden closeness to which he could see him, hear him.

«I had another idea of you, Sakusa-san. Sorry I'm frank.» Akaashi said. Forse some reasons, his grey eyes twinkled with delight.

«The idea of the cold, cynical and detached person; I know what impression I gave. I am who I am.» He asserted, his black eyes, two irises dark as anthracite, probed him relentlessly. Akaashi had never had someone looking at him in a way so .. _greedy_ , by anyone. As if he wanted to eat him alive.

He stretched his voice, clutching the documents to his stomach before placing them on the table, diverting his gaze. Akaashi wasn't sure, but he felt a kind of expectation electrifying his muscles, tightening his chest.

It was a new, unusual situation.

It was strange, it wasn't _right_. But he couldn't get it away.

«Not cold, but reserved. It's a different concept that not everyone understands.»

«You understand.» It wasn’t a question.

«Ah, well, because in some ways I am too.» Akaashi explained with a shrug and a half-smile. «I take my job very seriously, and being practical and analytical can distance you from others. Some could say I can almost seem insensitive in some ways.»

«Who said that.» 

_This_ caught him off guard. What Akaashi sensed, surprised, was a threat.

His eyes flicked towards Sakusa’s grim expression, widening it in a sudden heartbeat. He noticed the change that had taken place; the light in Sakusa's black gaze had grown sharper. His features had hardened, his voice low and stern. The air itself had taken on that color of equilibrium that cracks to break. «Someone has said that to you? Who?»

He could see the menacing thrill of the muscles beneath the layers of tissue, the tendons taut like ropes. Fists clenched, handling a rage that Akaashi realized in a delayed instant.

A soft blush rising from his neck. And at the same time, an icy cold radiated through his veins - it was awareness, it was something vicious; it was ecstatic, it was a lie.

«No one important.» Akaashi said, his voice smooth.

Sakusa looked down. There was another question posed on the tip of his tongue.

A name he didn't want to mention, despite its presence was always there, as impalpable as smoke in his eyes.

The thought baffled him, but it wasn't Akaashi fault - never was his fault. It was more anger at himself and his inability to manage his emotions. Sakusa didn’t want to think about _him_ right now; not when Akaashi was seated beside him. His lips soft, looking at him with wide, bright eyes - he was waiting with something similar at gentle expectation. 

_Of what?_

«You can start with the questions. I'm not good with words, but I will try to answer whatever you ask me.»

«You look at me, Sakusa.»

That wasn't a question either. Sakusa’s eyes darted across Akaashi's face, his expression unreadable. 

«It’s not a question.»

«It wasn’t. It was an observation. You are not good with words, but I think you are able to talk with something else.» Akaashi began, his slender fingers reaching up and pulling a lock of hair, a soft curl, behind his ear. The gesture made his neck bend, a thread of bare, white, soft skin that Sakusa drank like a thirsty man. «During workouts. When I visit the gym for work. You look at me, very earnestly. Why?»

«Does this bother you?»

Akaashi must not have been used to a frankness equal to his, because he blushed just on the tips of his ears. It seemed he was having trouble finding the right words. 

Sakusa was making him uncomfortable. He felt more wrong than he already was «I apologize if this may have bothered you.»

«No, it's just… I'm not used to being looked at… _that_ way. No one has ever looked at me with such _reverence_? I don’t even know what was the right word.»

The initial bewilderment of the revelation, inside Sakusa, was quickly replaced by anger and rage, his gaze darkening, deflecting as he stared out the window as he gathered his thoughts.

It was unbelievable to hear such a thing. Akaashi was nothing short of a precious gem, and to think of him or his needs being ignored, in bed or otherwise, made his blood boil. 

_He’s such an asshole-_

«You deserve nothing less than that.»

Akaashi looked up. His soft pink lips parted, his eyes wide, swallowing Sakusa's hunched figure behind his eyeglasses. Sakusa shrugged, «I mean; looked at. You deserve to be looked at and worshiped. Everyday. Whoever does not look at you in this way is not worthy of having you.»

A hot blush rising from his neck. His skin aflame, his Adam's apple shivers lightly. Sakusa's discomfort in exposing himself in this way was reflected in Akaashi’s big eyes. But it was mixed with a hunger that he had never felt with so much eagerness and desire.

Akaashi felt it. His wistful longing of so many years mingled in something egoistic and hot, squeezing his inside in a tight grip - irrational, wrong - _yearned_.

He had always waited for something like that - in a different time, for a different face, with a different voice. Many years had passed. His craving had digged inside him more deeper, more forcefully.

If he didn’t think about him, maybe he could-.. 

«You flatter me, Sakusa.» Akaashi rasped. His voice came out hoarse, barely audible to Sakusa, and Sakusa alone, to hear it.

«But you’re not fair»

The Black Jackals player shot him an inquiring gaze. He didn't have time to ask him anything else, that Akaashi had slowly risen from his chair; resting his palm on the table, he leaned forward in a movement that Sakusa swallowed and watched with fervent, surprised attention. Accustomed as he was to paying attention to whoever approached him, he absorbed the gesture with surgical attention.

Akaashi's hand lifted up, lingering and barely touching the edge of his facemask. But he dared not go any further.

_Can I?_

Sakusa’s breath hitched. Heart racing erratically. No one had ever gone that far before. No one before, indeed, had ever had the chance or the courage to go that far.

With a short nod, Sakusa agreed.

Akaashi’s finger touched his cheek, and he felt his skin quiver at that simple touch. The mask was pulled down with a grace all his own.

Akaashi was not very good at being seductive - at least not on purpose. But he tried. 

It was not an acceptance, but it had the full intention.

Sakusa distinctly recalled Akaashi's scent - it smelled like mint and ink and something that can be traced back to the taste of his skin, fresh, intimate.

Akaashi looked at him with the neon light behind his head, the shadow shielding the whiteness of his skin, enhancing the liquid glare in his grey eyes.

Fingers soft against the skin, quivering like a leaf would do in the fall. The parted lips were battered by the grip of the cold and that of the teeth.

Too many thoughts, too many fears.

His breath caught in his throat, suspended, motionless with fear of touching him - of being touched. To push him away and be pushed away.

A voice broke the silence like an earthquake. The cheeky gurgling of a laugh that vibrated in the air, warm and carefree, of one who has the sun in his eyes and the stainless confidence of the stars in his eyes.

Sakusa saw the sudden change in Akaashi's face. It hurt him.

The fingers retreated, almost burned by a gesture not even made - by the very idea of doing it. Tormented, the eyes widened in shock and blame. 

Sakusa just needed that to decide.

_Akaashi deserves better._

Sakusa kissed him hard on the lips, rising abruptly from the chair that swayed. This was so sudden that Akaashi froze against him. His mouth was pressed with such force against Sakusa’s that it took his breath away.

He woke up only to pull him away from him, wriggling just below him, placing a hand on his chest to push him away even if Sakusa felt his lips instinctively open to him, parting and fondling them with his tongue.

Sakusa decided that no one else would worship him as he would that day.

Sakusa grabbed the back of his head without force, letting him free to do whatever he wanted. The long fingers sank into his hair as easily as Akaashi opened his mouth and his tongue sank into his full lips.

To his surprise, Akaashi squirmed; hands that previously pushed him away, now pulled him close. Akaashi slided hands around his neck, pliant and beautifully. He let himself open to whatever Sakusa wanted. His tongue worshipped his lover’s wilful, hungry mouth. It’s an awkward kiss, devoid of any skills but filled with desire and yearns.

Slow, deep kisses, rubbing lips, moist and red as fruits that Sakusa bit without hurting. He tasted a new flavor that he had long dreamed of drinking, making his own, sinking into it with all of himself.

The table began to be an irritating obstacle.

Sakusa broke off the kiss in an annoyed grunt that reverberated in Akaashi's belly with an indecent sigh for him, brushing his swollen lips with his fingertips in shame before Sakusa made them his again.

Sakusa hoisted him onto the table, tying an arm around his waist to do so. Akaashi straddled his leg with a little gasp, desperate to get closer. Sakusa laced his arms around his waist, enticed and fuzzy by the inexperienced yet frantic way he touched him.

«If-.. if you don't-..»

«No, I want this!» Akaashi silenced him in a low sigh. His voice shivering, his shoulders hugging his torso as if he were afraid to do it - but he couldn't stop. Torn apart by too twisted thoughts that Sakusa could have listed one by one.

He had read them the moment Akaashi had pulled away. The anger mingled with the germ of a jealousy he couldn't remember ever feeling in his life.

Akaashi's hands tightened on his chest, fingers spreading over the roundness of the pecs that Sakusa hid under layers of armor against the world.

«Akaashi-.. You don't know the effect you have on me.» Sakusa whispered when they parted. Akaashi's lips looked so swollen and red. Sakusa can barely contain himself as he pushed up for another one.

Akaashi clung to him, rubbing against him languidly. Sakusa felt his tight sex behind his oversized jeans, grinding against his covered cock, half-hard under his sport uniform.

«Sakusa-.. ah.»

Sakusa quivered. He bited his swollen lip and then, lower down, jaw and neck. Despite all of what he was doing, he blushed with shame at the mere thought, at the memory of what he sometimes dreamed of - of Akaashi, of his legs spread over him, of the moans he would make, of his name scratched in his throat.

A hand slipped between them, unbuttoning the zip and exposing the wet fabric beyond the jeans. Akaashi writhed, squeezing his legs despite having Sakusa in the middle. His hand found his wetness. Long, _godly long_ fingers ghosting over his sex like he was a delicate flower. Akaashi gasped, as if unsure of what to think of someone other than himself touching his intimacy. Nevertheless, he grabbed Sakusa's wrist to still it and rubbed himself over it.

«Don't I disgust you?»

Sakusa looked at him in shock. Then he realized the reason for his question, frowning in guilt.

Just touching someone had made it problematic for that kind of human contact. Thinking about touching any other person made him feel sick and irritated. Touching Akaashi, instead, he felt no such thing except burning satisfaction and ecstatic desperation.

«Not you. Don't ever think about that, _ever_.» 

Akaashi squirmed, biting his lips while Sakusa kissed him, devouring him whole.

«Fuck- you're beautiful..»

His dick was the most delicious thing he had ever set his eyes on. There was no malevolent instinct. It was just veneration, pure exaltation of something perfect - half-hard, flushed and leaking at the tip.

«Don't look at me like that.»

«Like what?» Sakusa asked, lifting up his eyes to him. Callused fingers adored his face, fearing he had made or had said something that might have bothered him. Veneration in every gesture, even the most indecent.

Akaashi blushed in a dull crimson.

«As if... you wanted to devour me.»

Sakusa let out a downward, similar to a scratched gurgling that Akaashi felt reverberating in his chest, squeezing his lower abdomen. He kissed him quickly on the lips, the gesture producing a wet sound.

«Say a word and we’ll stop.» Sakusa whispered, dark eyes with something fierce and gentle at the same time, absurd as it was.

Akaashi’s heart swelled with fondness. «Whenever you want. Any time. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.»

«No, I...» Akaashi bit his lip, eyes drifting downward, liquid as honey. «Don't make me say it-.. » he said quietly, what came to Sakusa's ears as a pleading whine - almost heartbreaking.

Sakusa’s jaw snapped, a shadow crossed his eyes as dark as rough stones just at the thought. Possessiveness was upon him sooner than he wanted.

Fingers tightened over Akaashi’s dick, squeazing and pumping in slow, _oh so slow_ , long motions, uncovering the tip deliciously moist and pink and throbbing. 

«Ohgod..hhn!»

Akaashi meowed languidly, biting his kiss-swollen, moisty lips. If anyone had heard it ..

Quickly, Sakusa freed him from a shirt too tight and jeans too baggy, swallowing and burning every inch of white skin. There was hunger in Sakusa’s eyes roaming above him, devouring him like a wild, starved animal. There was hunger in his fingers, nubbing at the soft and barely hinted roundness of a breast, grabbing and cupping as though he’s making sure Akaashi was real; a fingertip rubbed his nipple before the lips ate it.

Akaashi’s hips were narrow, carved like the pediments of a temple. A hand encircled his waist, a fingertip sank into the hollow of his hip - the skin folding under him, the muscles of his lower abdomen contracting and Akaashi, beneath him, gasped breathless. «Sakusa.. slowly..»

Sakusa sighed, completely lost.

In a slow descent, Akaashi lay down on the table. Sakusa, standing in front of his spread thighs, worshipped him with his hands and mouth and all of himself.

Peering down, Akaashi saw him strip. Sakusa’s movements are quick and precise, much like the man himself - his taking off his sweatshirt and sweater and placing them on the table. Broad shoulders and tense muscles being flowed by the slanted light from the window. He wasn’t handsome in a canonical way, Sakusa was far more long and slender, his height high and had sleek muscles with impressive ragyness. He was handsome in a way Akaashi wouldn't believe he could think of. His hair, a wavy and disheveled black cascade, covered part of his gaze and sharp face. Without a mask, Akaashi saw him perhaps for the first time since high school.

A fiery, hungry look from him, and his heart leapt into his throat.

Sakusa watched him, waiting. Akaashi bit his lip, squeezed his eyes shut and then turning them to the side, languid in his every gesture. He looked feverish, his cheeks turned a crimson red.

It was a _yes_.

Gods, he wanted him.

Sakusa kissed him, dominant, fervently, long and deep, his hand opening around his breast so small it almost disappeared as Akaashi arched lightly. The imperceptible and soft roundness bent under his touch, nipples pink and puffy hardened quickly under his fingertips.

Akaashi parted instinctively his legs, his cock hard and dewy between them was like a tiny jewel that Sakusa yearned, touched, worshipped - his fingers wrapped around his cock, then.

He pumped it again - fast and slow, stroking harder, rubbing the tip, encircling it and the grabbing again. A glob of slick running down his fingers and his length, rounding the shape of his little globes down it and, below, in the wet groove between the buttocks.

The rebellion of getting his hands dirty like that - touching something sticky, something intimate - was just a contraction in his lower abdomen. Sakusa tucked this thought in the far reach of his mind. He craved that, he yearned for Akaashi more than anyone else.

He needed this – _more_ , more of Akaashi.

Sakusa's hand travelled downwards, a lone finger wiggling at the front of Akaashi's hole. It is soft and warm, slightly wet; his cock grew harder inside his pants. What it would have been like to feel squeezed by a soft and firm body like him; what it would be like to take him and see him open up to him - only to him - subdue him and be submissive to whatever will he wants. Fill him, hear him moan, hear him beg.

_This is improper_

_this is not right_

_this is not worth him_ , a voice inside him said. But Sakusa ignored it, teasing and circling, caressing his sweetly little entrance before sliding it up. Akaashi whined high-pitched, almost umbeliwered.

Wriggling, gasping and arching his back, Akaashi let his tights open for him. He moaned, giving himself to him.

He had denied his needs so much, his will for so long that now he felt light-headed, hazy and shivery in Sakusa’s arms. All the tangled thoughts and questions lost and far to be found.

Sakusa adored him as he had wanted to be adored and touched for years. And this thinking reverberated through his being in numbing, unceasing waves. This made him needy and greedy, desperate.

«Ah.. please.. Sakusa, please nh.»

Fingers slipped easily in him, curling inside his delightful wetness and made him moan.

Akaashi is opening to him like a flower at dawn, wet and fresh, untouched and soft as the purest. Assertive and docile, his swollen lips opened for a kiss, quivering in soft breathing - Akaashi was so divine.

He could fuck him, right here. Akaashi's hole, warm and wet and tight around him, his moans of pleasure. He could plug his dick inside him and make Akaashi his.

But, Sakusa realised, he can't.

He couldn't do it. Not there. Not in that moment. Secretly, in an office, on a table where he could hurt him, so exposed, so uncovered.

It was not worthy of him.

With Akaashi's hands around his shoulders and his soft, wet lips kissing, sucking, nudging his mouth, Sakusa pulled lightly away. Akaashi’s half-lidded eyes turn to him, confused.

Sakusa couldn't fuck him, but he was going to make him his anyway.

He pulled back far enough to drop his pants, his cock springed free against his stomach. Akaashi's gaze lingered low, blushing shamefully as he looked - feeling himself twitch at the sight of Sakusa’s dick. It wasn’t big nor very thick, but it's long and so hot. Only thinking at it, made him ashamed of the way his mind was going.

Sakusa bringed his hips closer, curving and biting at Akaashi's nipple, hands moving to bring those lovely, thick thighs closer to his hips.

«Don't want hurt you-..» He explained, his voice low, hoarse, soiled with desire and embarrassment. It was evident that he was having a hard time looking at him. Sakusa looked dominant and self aware almost all the time, but it was the first time Akaashi has seen him like this. «You'll be so tight and.. I couldn't control myself. I want to have more of you.»

Akaashi felt his heart pumping inside his chest, his face burning hot.

Sakysa’s grip on Akaashi’s waist tightens, bringing him closer. «What-.. oh!»

His cock slipped between his thighs. Akaashi saw the tip slide against his own sex, rubbing against it. A deep gasp leaks unbidden from parted lips, disappearing into stifling, sultry air.

He wanted to fuck him, his tights. It was almost obscene and never in his fantasies have ever thought at something like that. But, against _common sense,_ the thought made Akaashi aroused.

Sakusa, eyes as black as oil wells behind damp curls, took a deep breath, squeezing his wet groin to make it tighter.

«It's gross? It made you uncomfortable?»

«No, no I-..» Akaashi struggled to find his breath, body tensed under him, crooked moans wetting his parted lips. His arms up around Sakusa’s head, caressing his neck, fingers in his wild black curly hair. «Please, don't stop.» and he sounded so needy and desperate.

Sakusa breathed low, repeating the movement. At first it was something strange, new for both of them; he tried, pushing slowly, probing his own body and Akaashi's while his thighs tightened around his dick, trying to understand how hard he had to squeeze them.

Both lingering, they quickly found the pace to go and the exact pressure to make them moan and feel their nerves tighten and their abdomen contract. Akaashi’s thighs were warm, already wet around his cock, pumping him tight, his firm muscles twitching and making him see white with each thrust. One lunge, and both cocks rubbed.

«Sakusa-. .ahh.. faster..»

Under him, Akaashi melted and moaned. Sakusa eyed Akaashi’s small cock, just between his things, hard and flushed red, swelling. It’s so pretty, looking absolutely tiny next to his own. In a moment, Akaashi's hands reached down his legs, stroked and pumping both them with abandon.

Sakusa hissed, gasping for air.

He's so good. He's _too good_ for him.

Sakusa enjoyed the sound of his voice, low, delightful moans and goosebumps on his skin did nothing but make him hard between his gentle hands, between his firm, soft, white thighs that squeezed him and brought him to orgasm. 

Sakusa fucked his thighs hard and fast, breaching the warmth of the thighness and blissful wetness of Akaashi's thighs around him. «Oh fuck.. _yesyes_.. yes.» Akaashi moaned again, thrusting back on his mate’s wilding jabs, tight more his legs like he wanted pumping him dry. He whimpered softly, gasping as his body winded up tighter and tighter, ready to come.

Akaashi was gasping for breath and feeling the desperate affection Sakusa was pouring on him. And he was failing to take everything in.

Sakusa fucked him erratic, orgasm building in him.

He looked at his boy under him. Akaashi, dewy eyes flutter shut, bite his lips.

«Please, Sakusa.. Sakusa.»

His name, painted on his lips, moaned as if Akaashi wanted to say only that. Only his name.

He released all over cum on his tummy, painting the boy’s stomach in white as Akaashi squeezed both of them. 

Breath heavy, Sakusa’s face buried in his shoulder. Akaashi came in a soft, wetted whimper, body tense, spilling white sperm on him. Sweats cold on their skins.

When their breaths recover, carefully and so gently, Sakusa pulled away. Before Akaashi managed to gather his scattered thoughts, Sakusa was gone, in search of clean water and something not contaminated.

He had disinfectant tissues in his bag.

He used them first on Akaashi - still messed up by the orgasm and the situation. He winced lightly as the damp cloth brushed his skin where Sakusa's hands had passed, leaving fire behind him.

He cleaned him meticulously. After a first moment of uncertainty, there was shame in the intimacy of his gesture. Akaashi lifted himself up, sat down on the table. Still naked, he felt exposed.

«That's enough, Sakusa-san. It’s okay.»

It wasn't okay. Sakusa could clearly see the marks left on her skin. In silence, his eyes stern and his forehead contracted, he looked at him with reproach turned all towards himself.

Akaashi couldn’t deny it.

They dressed in silence, without being able to look at each other. Sakusa feared in his refusal, still busy cleaning his hands with unnerving scrupulousness. Akaashi peered at him, the taste of him still on his lips, tightening his chest.

A noise in the corridor made him abruptly stand on his feet, fear of being caught widened his eyes. The delightful brush of pink that had previously tinted his face had slipped away with a corpse-like pallor. He twitched his fingers, a behavior that wasn't his - hesitating, struggling to think of something rational.

Sakusa’s eyes were fixed on him. He looked with heartfelt affection behind his inability to express.

«I had closed the door.» Sakusa explained.

_As if I could let someone see you naked._

Akaashi looked at him, the split-second fear replaced by something mixed between grateful and shame. «I see.» something inside him snapped, setting in motion that magnificent and subtle mechanism that constituted his thoughts.

«I need to go, Sakusa-san.»

Sakusa's eyes seemed to absorb the cool light of the room as he shifted his gaze to him. It was unfathomable in his way of looking at him. It wasn't a bad feeling, but it destabilized Akaashi.

«Take a shower as soon as you get home.»

«What?»

«I would propose to you to do it in my room right away, but I don't think you would accept it. It even annoys me that you walk around in this state.»

Sakusa felt quite helpless and irritated by himself and what he’d done to him. Akaashi struggled to make his analytic thoughts run faster to understand what he was saying; by a quick calculation he imagined that Sakusa was talking about how many germs he had given him when he came, spilling it all on his stomach. It hadn't been very hygienic, he had to admit.

The thought made him blush. «Ah, yes.»

«And take this, you'll need it. You touched my cock with your hands. Use it on the road, whenever you can.» A bottle of disinfectant appeared in his hands. «It is useless to remind you that you should avoid touching promiscuous things. And please, clean yourself well. I don't think I'd be able to sleep if I think-.»

«Sakusa-san.» The rest of Sakusa’s words were swept away as Akaashi spoke, gently but firmly. A gentle smile spreading thinly across his lips. «I will, don’t worry about me.»

Akaashi wasn't sure if that kind of attachment was right - not with the assumptions that had triggered it.

Not when there was the thought of _him_ in the beginning.

Sakusa saw the change in Akaashi's face, and was sure of it when he spoke again.

«The interview ends here, Sakusa-san.»

Sakusa said nothing, humming wordlessly. There was something cold in his words, a detachment that made him miss the way his name had been pronounced a few moments before.

Akaashi no longer looked him in the face. He didn’t look at him when he put his coat on, nor when he took back his backpack and opened the door.

Sakusa remained still where he was. A sense of loss stretched his chest, taut silences thin like a weapon. «Have a good day.» Akaashi's voice was a faint whisper. Softer, sweeter of a whisper. It hurted him like a furious strike in full face. 

His face hidden in his bowing; Sakusa could not even see his lips move. The door closed, and there were only his hasty footsteps in the distance, taking him away.

Sakusa looked down, still holding the used disinfectant handkerchief in his hands.

«It never started.»

*

The first thing Akaashi did when he entered at home was, in fact, a shower.

A long, deep shower.

Getting rid of that sticky and impalpable feeling of sweat and dirt he was wearing was a release that had made him on the edge of his nerves all on the way; he had used the disinfectant when it was needed - on the subway, during his walk to the hotel when he usually stayed during his work trips there in Osaka, when he stop by at a konbini to take his dinner. He had wanted to get the skin-to-skin feeling away from his hands. And now, wiping the sponge for the fourth time against his abdomen and legs, he was also doing it with the rest of his body.

Akaashi preferred it this way, he wanted to undo whatever had happened - he didn't regret it, but it was better this way.

It was the right thing to do.

And yet.

There was a voice - _Sakusa’s low voice_ \- still whispering his name against his skin, kissing his mouth, scratching his shoulders, squeezing his hips.

He still had the aseptic, ferruginous smell of Sakusa on himself, which, with the soap, flowed down in cascades of water away from him.

It was stupid, and quite pathetic of him. Longing for something that never belonged to him, that shouldn't have happened - it was ridiculous.

Akaashi wasn't the kind of person who could deceive himself, play easy just for the fun of it. But Sakusa could think so. He could think he just wanted sex - to be touched, to be wanted. He threw a heap of water on his face feeling the heat rise in his face. Since when did his body become so sensitive and touch-starved?

Had he been in an inappropriate attitude?

Probably, yes. Yet Sakusa had looked at him… like that. With fondness, boundless affection and reverence. And hunger, _oh_ he looked so hungry as if he was in front of a full feast before him. 

He had _wanted_ it as much as Sakusa had wanted him.

_You deserve to be looked at and venerated, every day._

The memory of those words came back to him, causing his abdomen to spasm and the fear of something else as he snapped the water shut.

He quickly wrapped himself in his bathrobe, reaching for the cell phone in his room and grabbing the business card number left by the agency manager.

*

Sakusa's phone vibrated softly against the bedside table. He took it leisurely as he slipped into his ironed pajamas by the bedside table.

A wrinkle crossed his forehead at the unknown number, which smoothed out when he understood the sender of the message.

«don't tell him. please.»

It was Akaashi.

A silver glittering passed quickly in his dark irises .

There was no need to say the name, he already knew who he was talking about. Despite all, he was... happy.

«I won't.»

«hope you arrived home safe.»

Akaashi took a while to respond. He still didn’t understand who could have given him his number but it was a thought that at that moment was totally in the background.

«I am, thank you for your hand sanitizer. It was helpful.»

«it's ok.»

«..»

«if what happened bothered you, you can forget it.»

A pause.

«..I can't.»

«Then, let me treat you for dinner tomorrow.»

«I work until late.»

«I'll wait.»

He'll wait.

He's always waited.

«Goodnight, Sakusa.»

There was no longer the formal suffix. Sakusa's lips twitched, one corner curled upward.

It was a _yes_. Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!!


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